Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
