Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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