Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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