did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
