I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
