dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
