I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize