we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
