I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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