Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
