they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
