what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize