She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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