My nipple is on Facebook.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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