it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
