i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
thus making me awesome and them whores
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
