Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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