her facebook's as public as her vagina
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
