So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
