I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
