I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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