In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
