Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
