I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
