I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
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But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that