I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
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so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
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And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?