I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.