thanks...oh and i got my period
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dating After Heartbreak
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-