she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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