He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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