I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
