I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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