Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
