from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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