You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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