I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
