woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
