Sponge bath it is.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
