guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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