why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
