dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
