turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
