Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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