see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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