That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
