Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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