i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
