Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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