Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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