I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize