just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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