After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
