So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
