Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
