Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
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Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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