I forgot how hot balto sounded
only you would photoshop your dick
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
