Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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