Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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