I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
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if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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