i can't believe i had my finger in that
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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