I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!