hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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