i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
