i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Randomize