Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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