I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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