I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
