Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
