So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
