Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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