i wish starbucks made bloody marys
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
