Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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